Category: Helpdesk Related

Ok today was quite a good day.

We’re all learning the new systems we need to use at work to support customers and it’s not going too bad.

Also the monitor of life is great and doesn’t fucking shake like the old piece of crap I had.

My Uncle now has it and he’s welcome to the fucken thing.

Other then this, not much else to report tonight.

Should have some more news tomorrow.

Right i’ve written about this toppic previously in my supurb journal.

I’m constantly sick to death of idiotic morons who can’t or won’t follow instructions. You tell them to open control pannel so they open my computer. You tell them to click internet options then connections so they click start then programs.

How hard is it for someone to follow instructions and your guiding them through the entire process?
Obviously for 5% of our customers it’s too hard. I’m really starting to loose my patience with the same idiots who just won’t listen. Maybe if I get a scroll and write the instructions on it in lattin it may help.
I’m going to name a person who simply won’t follow instructions they screw around with there settings and on top of that they lye and tell us know know we didn’t change anything. Bull bloody shit you did. Don’t call the helpdesk lye through your wrotting moldy teeth and tell us you didn’t change a thing.
We know who’s full of shit and who isn’t and we’re not going to stand for it anymore.

If I get one more useless dick head who won’t listen, i’m hanging up after I yell very loud count to three and drop a bottle of water on my work station.

I’ll not hesitate and walk out immediately if not sooner my friends so you have been warned.

Customers of isp, look out, the helpdesk has reformed and we’re not taking no shit from anyone. I don’t give a rats arse wether your male or female the rules still apply.

Good night.

Right today’s gripe is regarding blind organizations and how they simply use blind people as free labour.

This is amazing stuff fellow readers so read on.

I had a call from an itinerant teacher wanting to come out and bring a student simply for me to tell them what future they have. What a joke fellow readers.

Firstly when I was unemployed looking for work, none of those blindness related organizations were available to help me. I even oferred to train some of those teachers using specialized technology and they never returned my calls.

I’m absolutely fedup with certain organizations who i’ll name now, the education department, royal blind society and others who don’t help the blind who are serious about looking for work.

They simply help those with vision so lets rename them to the royal vision society for the vision impaired.

What a crock.

They expect me to help for free, give up my own free time just to tell some smart arse prick he has a future? What a joke man.

I’m not wasting my precious time and my energy for free?

NO mention of payment or anything. Useless free scabby organizations who simply fill there own pockets with money and feather there own fucking nests and they don’t give a fuck about blind people in general. Afterall, isn’t that why these organizations exist?

You often wonder don’t you.

The moral of the story is, don’t take anything on face value.

see you all tonight with much happier news.

Ok today was another of those fucked up full moons again. the reason for this is cause every man and his fucken dog rang.
So many fucken idiots who wouldn’t know a monitor if it jumpt up and bit them on the arse.
One of the calls I had was some moronic individual who kept asking the same question over and over again. Fuck why can’t people open there fucken clogged up stinking ears and listen for fuck sake. I really get annoyed and agitated with cunts who don’t listen and just like tehre own voice.
The other thing that pisses me off to know end is the idiots who insist there keyboard is working and you know dam well it’s fucked but they won’t listen.
another chick rings up and says is this tech support? I felt like saying know it’s the fucken chinese take away shop what do you think. fuck some people are so dumb. If I say good afternoon helpdesk scott speaking it’s pretty fucken obvious it’s helpdesk.
Man oh man idiots who don’t wanna listen and you tell them to click start settings control pannel and they say do you want me to click internet explorer?
Of course I want you to click internet explorer that’s what I asked you to click on the first time not.
I felt like yelling shouting screaming crying yelling and causing such a loud din everyone would come running. HOw many bloody times do I have to say it, newbys on the net have no idea.
People who think modems mysteriously just work without a phone line there mad.
The worse one is people who insist we know nothing and they would rather solve there own problems.

anyone who rings me on a fullmoon again and I find out it’s a fullmoon, i’m pressing the red button. I don’t give a flying fuck if people want support, i’ll support them when i’m fucken ready. I won’t have people ringing me in a lunch brake saying we need help.
Ring someone else. Ring someone who’s only worked on helpdesk for 2 days.

all aside, we had a farewell for adrian who’s leaving us.

We’ll be very sorry to see him leave and I hope he enjoys hsi bleak sorry bright future.

good luck buddy, we’ll miss ya.

Dinner tonight was great. We had some schnitchell, spinich pie and some wedges.

also my Mum has finally joined the digital revolution. It’s great to see and we’re ordering her new pc tomorrow.

Please tune in to my phone post regarding fucken dropkicks and wancas on my helpdesk.

customers today were really giving me a monumental case of the fucking shits.
They just wouldn’t listen to what I had to say and would do what ever they fucken liked and didn’t give a fuck about me. I have decided if I owned an isp, I would ban some customers from calling and i would implement a 3 strikes and your out policy. Fuck them. They think they can treat us however they like but they can’t.
They are gonna learn once and for all i’m the boss while ion a call and if they are speaking to me, they will click what I say to click and if I say format c: there gonna do it no questions asked. If they don’t obey, there out and will never receive a call from me again.
Also for those wining cunts who are 46 and think they no more then me, they can fuck off and solve there own fucking issues. I refuse to help anyone who goes against anything I say. What I say goes so if you don’t like it then fuck off and squeeze your nads in a vice and I hope they fucken hurt after you do this.
If your a chick and don’t have balls then stiff shit.
do those individuals who jsut think there toffs and rich fucks, jam your left ear lobe in a pencil sharpener and twist nice and hard. With a bit of luck, your left ear will drop off and I won’t have to talk to you again.
Finally for those dicks who think there perfect, I have some news for you.
Your not perfect, your far from perfect i’m perfect and your just a fuck wit who surfs the net and calls for help when it suits you.
Well i’ve had enough. NO more useless shits calling me.
I’m gonna look for a new profession and leave helpdesk for the 20 year olds who have no idea and for those who like netendo games all day.

Keep in mind, this is all pure speculation on my part and I will stay at helpdesk as long as I get money each week.
Nothing else to report today so fuck off and let me sleep for fuck sake.

Right today i’m on a crusade against any customer who even thinks about keeping windows 95 on there machines.
Win95 has reached it’s end of support life and people need to get there ugly looking mugs (heads) out of the sand and wake up. xP is the way of the future is the new digital revolution and if you don’t join it your gonna be left way way behind back to the days of the caveman. back then there was no internet, no pc’s and nothing. Times back then were an absolute fucking disgrace and so my fellow readers, join the xp revolution and do away with the treaded windows 95 os. It’s an absolute joke that people still use it.

Today we had an absolute twerp who couldn’t undersand the difference between an internal modem and an external modem. Now most of you who read my journal regularly have brains and no that an internal modem is inside your computer and an external is outside your computer. No no no, this customer had to be the dumbest man who ever walked this earth. He had no basic computer comcepts and I reckon if I threw a fishing line and hook to him, he wouldn’t know what they were for. I could quite easily prod him in the arse with a cattle prod and still he’d feel no pain.

How can people still live and breathe and eat and still continually call the pour helpdesk support guys who have to constantly put up with there dribble and explain things to them. Friends, i’m taking a new attitude towards these guys.
If they don’t know and admit they know something and I clearly come to the conclusion they no nothing, absolutely nothing, i’ll conveeniently hit the red button which will let me breathe again and I won’t hear there squeeling non-sensical voice again. Further to this, i’ll personally write a list of all the customers who make a nuisance of themselves when they call and will refuse to speak to them as long as they are on this earth.

Now that i’ve ranted on for minutes seconds hours days and weeks, the good news fuck, is there really some good news?
Yeh there really is fellow reader.

Hamburgers, are great. There food we should eat as often as we can and enjoy them folks cause one day I swear, the fucken beef industry will go on strike. If that ever happens, i’ll be taking a chain saw and slicing off a leg or 2 and will have to eat that instead.

Hamburgers with bacon and a huge slab of meat. That’s how it should be done.

Well, I guess this update was worth waiting for even though it’s a pile of shit.

Thanks and catch ya all tomorra man.

Right i’ve come to the conclusion that our customer’s are getting dumber and dumber.
The reason I say this is because today half of them still don’t realize they need to keep there windows patches updated and also think we ccan flick a switch at our end to get rid of the viruses off there pc’s. Of course anyone with a brain would know this isn’t possible but no, not our customers.
We even had a case today where we gave the pebkac the same lot of instructions 3 times on how to get the sasser removal tool from
www.sarc.com
I feel there’s no hope for these people and they should quietly take themselves and there pc’s to the nearest skyscraper and jump.

It will help us hd guys immensly and we won’t have to act like fucking parrotts and say the same things over and over and over and over and over and over.

Other then these minor inconveeniences, the day was great the food rocks and so do chics.

Catch ya.

Righto i’m absolutely sick to death of viruses. I’m really sick of saying the same thing over and over to our useless fucked up customers who have no idea what antivirus software is and or does.
They don’t nknow that you need to renew your subscription each year. They also don’t know if you don’t update your antivirus software it’s as useless as tits on a bull.
They have no fucking idea man.
The amount of fuck wits I talk to day in day out just act as if they don’t give a shit and they don’t care.
Sometimes you feel like smashing your head against the wall.

Other then this the day was ok and remember skype rules man.