Righto read on fellow readers if the subject means nothing to you.
I really wanted some delly ham something cronic but unfortunately it’s one of those fucking tins with an evenly fucking stupid key which I couldn’t work out how to open so this my fellow readers was my plan of attack and to gain access to the ham which I dearly wanted.
I decided there would be no fucking way I was gonna work out that fucking key so I decided I would use the can opener and a pair of old cricket gloves.
I managed to open all but 1 side of the tin and decided it was now or never.
I put on one old trusty cricket glove and I forced open 3 sides of that fucking tin if it was the last thing i would do and bent the entire top back over itself.
After this I decided it was time to extract that juicy meat so I got a knife fellow readers and a plate and I forced out the contents of the can on to a plate.
I was so happy I persaveered for 10 minutes to get to that contents.
I enjoyed it very slowly with a piece of bread and man i’ve never worked so hard in my life for a fucking piece of meat.
I wanted you all to know I strained and worked my fingers to the bone to get to the meaty contents.
The moral of the story is, don’t by cans of ham with fucking keys cause the fuckers don’t work.
Meat I knew I could do it.
Kath see me for some hush money thanks.
There is a can opener sold in large department stores which opens cans, including ones with those awful keys, but which turns down the cut edge of the can and makes those cricket gloves unnecessary.
Well well, the things some people do for meat. Mate your secret is safe with me, I hope. Clint